Life is not without challenges

So, I take an embarrassingly slow and light fall on my son's bmx bike yesterday and hear a pop in my left shoulder. Stand up to shake it off and realize, Sh*t! I just broke collar bone. How is that possible? I cart wheel and endo off my bike pretty much every ride. I didn't put my arm down as I hear is typically the cause for such an injury. It didn’t even hurt. WTF? Do I have some sort of bone depleting illness? Am I 90 years old? I am typically a pretty hard MF. Guess not any more. Happy F***ing Father’s Day! Oh well. I have to deal with it now. So, I announced to the family and rest of the folks at the party we were at what I had done. Get a few shocked faces when I share what apparently is a deformity hiding under my shirt and we set out to the urgent care.

Spent the excruciatingly long wait at the urgent care between constant asks if I need something for the pain (Apparently I look like a junkie or was supposed to be in more pain) texting all the people I knew that had broken their collar bone and the surprising number of Physician Assistant friends I have. Hoping to hear something along the lines of “Oh you’ll be running in two weeks with no pain. Lay off the MTB for about 4 and you’ll be hitting weights by 6.” The responses vary but, average out to be about 6 weeks. An eternity.... I talk to the doctor who pretty much tells me that given the fact I am in so little pain and can force my arm up so high, that he doubts it’s broken but, he better get some xrays to be sure. Ya think? After more inquiries about whether I need something for the pain (apparently I am supposed to be leering from it) I finally get some xrays. I bounce off the table when I realize the tech has them up on the computer screen. She tries her best to run through the prompts but, I catch a glimpse and ask her “That’s broke all the way through isn’t it?” Her response “Yeah. Completely but, I didn’t tell you that and you didn’t see it until the doctor shows it to you.” After a redundant confirmation with the doctor and some more reassurances that pain med are for pu**ies on my part, I am out the door with my gift copy of my xray and parting words "partially fused in 3 weeks. 100% in 6." It sounded like 2 years when he said 6 weeks.

Kids were still up when we get home and I get to open my Father’s Day gifts one handed after removing my son’s bike and bike rack from the van. Much easier said than done with one gimpy arm. Apparently, the kids had some time while I was in the urgent care and made me cards. My daughter’s had the best quotes “Why did you throw your sunglasses out the window?” and “Sorry you broke your bone.” Obviously, evidence I was less than thrilled about my situation on the way to urgent care.

Trying to find some positives through all the negatives. So, far I’ve enjoyed telling my wife I need help wiping my butt. She’s less than thrilled with the jokes and the whole situation.

Need to go get a second opinion from an ortho shortly. The Dr. at the urgent care advised against a sling. His claim was the bone was aligned well, it wouldn't help if heal much faster and I'd be in physical therapy for weeks if he gave me one. Plus, I didn't seem to be in enough pain to warrant one.